The Aftermath
by bananapantsu
Summary: The war is finally over, at a price- and Naruto suddenly finds that he has to deal with of the guilt of being a ninja- with the blood on his hands. But when help comes in the form of a certain Hyuuga, he needs to learn to hold on again- or she just might slip through his fingers. NaruHina
1. one

_The war is finally over, at a price- and Naruto has to deal with his guilt- with the blood on his hands. But when help comes in the form of a certain Hyuuga, he needs to learn to hold on again- or she just might slip through his fingers._

* * *

_one_

* * *

It's funny how quickly life can be turned upside down.

_(Concentrate, idiot. They need you)_

One minute he was relishing in the thrill of the battle- his mind whizzed through some statistics. The enemy was down- Kabuto was dead. Madara was dead. Enemy soldiers were surrendering on all fronts. The remaining Akatsuki members had gone into hiding.

He was tired and he couldn't wait to get home- whether it was to rest or to stock up on some soldier pills.-

_(go back out and fight.)_

-He nearly lost his balance jumping to the next tree branch. His face went pale as he took in the height he could have fallen from.

_(Look up, look UP, LOOK UP)_

A white shirt. Pale skin. A flash of jet-black hair.

His head whirled around instantly, the previous warm thrill replaced with icey cold adrenaline. His wild blue eyes flashed red- a sign of the turmoil within himself- and his canines were bared in a snarl. As he shot off towards his target, he vaguely registered the wind rushing through his jacket where it was torn and bloody from previous fights. All of his exhaustion was forgotten.

_(keep going you can DO THIS)_

Sasuke's eyes had always been a deep red, but only that day could Naruto have said they were truly the colour of blood.

_(-and it's now or never)_

The two had clashed with the force of a hurricane, levelling out the forest with their attacks. No words were needed between them- all they had left was the hatred of a brother betrayed.

_(no more hurt. No more)_

He didn't recall exactly when the Kyuubi had taken over. This time he hadn't even put up a fight. He didn't need to- the fox knew what he was doing.

The final attack- a roar of chakra blacker than coal, a burst of evil that came from the depths of the darkest of hearts. It had nearly torn Naruto's throat apart with its force. Sasuke had felt nothing when he died - It's what Naruto would have wanted.

Naruto remembered coming back to consciousness on grass that was singed with the remainders of an Amaterasu attack. His wounds were being furiously knit together by the Kyuubi- was his right arm supposed to feel so numb?- and his eyes were getting heavy.

"NARUTOOOO!" a scream came from his left. A bark (wow, Akamaru looks tired) and footsteps, getting closer and closer. Purple eyes,

black hair, two soft fingers on his neck searching for a pulse. Kiba yelling into his radio for help.

_(just get rid of the pain)_

The sweet embrace of darkness.

* * *

When Naruto woke up, he really wished he hadn't.

For the duration of the three or so days he was unconscious, the Kyuubi had been working overtime healing up his injuries. His right arm had been all but shattered, completely blackened from both the matted blood and the charred skin left by Sasuke's final Amaterasu. His flak jacket was shredded beyond recognition. By the time he was brought into the hospital tent he was covered in dirt and blood, not all of it his own.

He felt every single ache. Every single inch of torn muscle, every single laboured breath, every unwanted thought- he felt tired. So, so tired.

He looked around groggily. The tent was full of unconscious ninja, most of whom he didn't recognise. He was hooked up to a grey machine; the soft beep-beep-beeping and low green glow of the screen filled up the emptiness. His right arm was heavily bandaged and lying lamely by his side. He shifted his neck to the right, wincing from the pain.

Draped over the bed was a small mess of dark hair, its owner in a plastic chair, breathing softly. Two smaller hands were clutching one of his own, holding on for dear life. He found that no matter how hard he tried to move his bandaged arm, he couldn't.

He winced at the brief flash of sunlight in front of him as Shizune lifted a flap to open the tent, walking in and humming while she updated her records. She scribbled a few notes onto her clipboard, taking no notice as the bundle to Naruto's side shifted slightly. "Morning, Hinata-chan," she hummed. "Morning, Naru- oh!"

Shizune's tired features perked up as she took in his own opened eyes. The "mess" now known as Hinata stirred, blinking away the sleep in her vision. She looked around slowly, taking in her surroundings, and glanced at him before looking away. Her eyes widened when her head snapped back to look at him again, before her face lit up with a grin.

"Naruto-kun!"

He _winced_ at the sound of her yell. His ears rang with a painful high pitched sound crafted by the evillest of evils-

She nearly threw herself at him, but refrained herself when she remembered he was_ in a __hospital bed._ She sat back down and looked down at her own hands clasped around his, yelping before removing them as if she'd been stung.

_(Oh great, and now my hand is cold-)_

"I-I'm so sorry. Was I hurting you?"

He tried to reply but it came out as more of a strained rasp. Shizune shook her head and walked over. The closer she got to him, the more noticeable the bags under her eyes became.

She paused for a second, clipboard under her arms. An image flashed through his brain and suddenly it was his mother standing there looking all angry-

She kissed him on the forehead. He closed his eyes and it was still her- he was still pretending.

He wanted to sleep.

"Looks like I underestimated our Kyuu-chan, eh? He burned through that anaesthetic as if it were nothing." She scribbled something else on her clipboard before gliding over and opening up a small box at one end of the tent. She withdrew a large needle that made Naruto feel_ three kinds of uneasy_-

"By all rights you should be dead, you know," she began, her voice strangely cheery, filling the syringe as she spoke. "That bastard really did a number on you. Your arm was burnt and nearly damaged beyond repair. Your legs are burnt and your wrist was broken. You survived some of the most powerful attacks in the Uchiha arsenal- you're lucky you were brought here alive and in time." she nodded at Hinata, who blushed and turned her attention to the floor.

Shizune walked back over and playfully poked Naruto's stomach. "So, Kyuubi-chan, if you can hear me at all, we all have a lot to thank you for." She flicked the syringe before injecting Naruto with the sedative. "Sleep tight, little fox," Hinata whispered before his senses fell into darkness once more.

* * *

He woke up again not knowing how much time had passed, but he definitely felt... better. It didn't hurt to move his head and now he could move his bandaged arm, albeit with a little pain. There was still a familiar pressure on his hand- Hinata was like a little bundle, hair draped over the bed. From what he could tell, she was sleeping again. He looked up at the tent's beige ceiling, mind completely blank. He decided to concentrate- what went on before? How did he end up here?

The resulting rush of thoughts and memories was overwhelming. His mind replayed every death, every wound he inflicted, every drop of blood he had seen on the battlefield. Brothers and black flames and red eyes, all in the space of a few seconds.

Sasuke. He'd killed Sasuke. His best friend, his brother. He'd broken his promise to Sakura. Naruto started shaking- his heartbeat sped up, and the beep-beep-beeping of the machine became more rapid than he would have liked. Hinata stirred beside him, and Shizune rushed over to see what was going on. Her wide, anxious eyes relaxed when she saw him.

"You're finally awake then." Shizune nodded. She glanced at her clipboard, then back at him. "In time, too. Your arm is nearly all healed up- we were worried about that skin graft not taking, but everything went alright after all. Your wrist is better as well, but it'll take a few more weeks for your tenketsu to heal after all the strain from Kyuubi's chakra. We can take that bandage off tomorrow," Hinata was fully awake now, again clutching his hand. She smiled at him before speaking softly.

"I'm glad you're okay. I was worried. Kiba and Shino say hello, as well."

_(her voice sounds like birdsong)_

He cleared out his throat from weeks of underuse. "Th-thankyou," he rasped. "For staying here. I'm sur-surprised you did." his tongue felt heavy.

Hinata just nodded her head, smiling lightly. He turned to look at Shizune.

"Did... Did we win?"

At this, Shizune grinned. "We crushed the Akatsuki in one fell swoop." She punched her hand against one open palm, the clipboard tucked under her armpit. "After you took out Kabuto and Madara, the edo-tensei technique failed and the enemy nin crumbled. I was only witness to Gaara-sama's fight, but boy, was it amazin-"

"I've been out for a while and I can't tell what's real from- from what I've made up in my head." His tongue was still heavy and he struggled to get his words out, interrupting Shizune mid-sentence. "I killed sasuke, didn't I?"

Hinata squeezed his hand tighter. Shizune paused, studying him carefully for a moment. "You killed a traitor by the name of Sasuke Uchiha. The Sasuke you know has been dead for a long time," she spoke quietly.

"So I broke my promise to Sakura after all." Shizune visibly flinched and refused to meet his eyes.

"Then, th-the casualties," he croaked. "What about those?"

Her eyes took on a clinical glint. "We lost some great shinobi during that war, Naruto." she turned her head away.

"Like who?" every word was a struggle for him.

Hinata chose now to speak up. "Tsunade-sama and Iruka-sensei are currently in the hospital, Naruto. Amongst our peer group we did not lose many ninja. Kakashi-sensei is our stand in Hokage until Tsunade-sama's recovery. Who would've believed that guy could handle any responsibility?" her chuckle sounded strained. Her hands were no longer clutching his, but playing nervously with the pockets on her Chuunin vest.

"You're av-avoiding my question. Who? Who did we lose?" he looked her dead in the eye, eyebrows furrowed. She looked at him desperately, then forced herself into the same political aura she used before the Hyuuga elders, and recited the facts as if they were simply printed on a textbook page.

"We... We lost Sakura-san and Shikamaru-kun," she whispered. "Neji has been rendered blind in one eye. My father, Anko-san, Tsunade-sama, Lee-kun and Iruka-sensei are in hospital, although it looks like they'll be okay. Chouji-kun is also in hospital for chakra exhaustion and severe damage to his chakra pathways. Total Konoha casualties were 7394 Konoha shinobi, 2689 Civilian deaths."

_(you've failed)_

His hands were visibly shaking. "Sa-Sakura-chan? She's- she's gone?"

"I'm so sorry, Naruto," she whispered. "She was a dear friend to me, too."

(you're fucking joking this isn't real this is just a dream just go back to sleep)

This time when he passed out, it wasn't thanks to Shizune.

* * *

Naruto sat up on the side of his messy bed. His arms were folded, his injured arm carefully balanced on the other, and his expression was a fixed, stubborn pout.

_(she's gone and I've failed and nothing can change _anything_)_

"I'm not moving until you give me a mission that's outside this damn village."

Both Hinata and Shizune were tending to the other patients; Hinata's limited medical training coming in handy for the simpler tasks and her Byakugan aiding diagnosis. The tent was nearly empty save for Naruto and two other patients- and the village's shiny, New Stand In Hokage.

Kakashi leaned on the grey machine beside him, massaging his temples with one hand. The kanji for "Hokage" was on an orange armband pinned to his right sleeve, but apart from that nothing had changed about the lazy jounin. He stared threateningly at Naruto, but the boy didn't even flinch.

_(just try me- you're not replacing _anybody_)_

"Listen to me, Uzumaki. You're _needed_ in Konoha. The rebuild team needs some muscle and until the other chuunin are done resting up, _you're it_." Kakashi nearly glared a hole into the side of Naruto's head.

Naruto looked up, defiantly meeting Kakashi's steady gaze. "Send me to Suna then, I can help out there! Or send me out on a gathering mission and I'll go fetch the materials or- or something!" He was visibly getting more agitated, arms unfolding themselves and the unbandaged fist clenched. He stood up when yelled, "I'm not setting foot in that fucking village!"

Kakashi was unfazed. "The Third might have let you off, Naruto, but I won't. You're going to Konoha or so help me I will label you rogue and the hunter nin will get you so fast your eyes will spin."

(that's better than this _anything_ is better than this)

Naruto got up and turned his head away. "Fine. I'll go to Konoha. I'll be in my apartment mourning the loss of my teammate. Your student. Remember her? Or was your head too far up the Uchiha's ass to notice?"

Kakashi's expression could only be described as blind rage, even from a single visible eye. He breathed and reined in his emotions, remembering that he was in fact a Jounin, trained in the art of controlling his emotions, and now- he was Hokage. Even if just for a while.

"Brat, Tsunade might have let you get away with murder, but I refuse to allow you to abandon your village. Those who abandon their friends are worse than-"

"Worse than trash. I heard you the first ten fucking times."

Naruto's next sentence was spoken so quietly that Kakashi almost missed what he said.

"You seemed perfectly fucking fine abandoning Sakura, huh _sensei_?"

With that, he stormed out of the tent, the entrance flaps fluttering in his wake. Kakashi returned to sighing deeply and massaging his temples.

He'd failed again. His team. He'd failed.

* * *

Naruto returned to his apartment on the outskirts of Konoha, one of the few places left untouched by the war. The village was devastated. Debris and ash littered every street. He had stopped at least three times to take lost children to the new academy building, where they'd be given food, water and shelter until they were identified-_ if_ they were identified. He was miserable and tired and his sandals were dusty, but he somehow found the strength to make it all the way back.

He seemed to go through the motions like a robot, his mind hazy and slow. His left hand fumbled around in his pocket, pulling out his keys. He managed to miss the keyhole once, but not a second time. He heard the door click and opened the door to his dusty apartment.

He trudged up the stairs and slid off his jacket. He went to put it on the coat rack, but misjudged the distance and it lay forgotten on the floor. He dragged his feet along and kicked off his shoes, leaving them haphazardly by the door.

Naruto turned around to stare at the door he hadn't yet closed. A vague memory of a shorter-than-him Sasuke and a young, long haired Sakura appeared before him. "Oi, Baka," Sakura grinned cheerily. "You're late." Sasuke was smirking- the closest thing he would ever get to a smile.

Naruto couldn't take it. The tears flooded his vision and he collapsed to his knees, an arm over his eyes, sobbing over the dear friends he would never see again.

His heart felt empty and the only thing he could think of was how he should have gone down with them.

* * *

_notes:_ right... well. this has been sitting on my phone for about three months now. i must have re-written it a whole mess of times, but i can't be sure. also the longest time i've ever sat and written nonstop, go figure.

_notes2_: it's 3AM and i'm up to re-write six. haha. i have exams on monday goddamnit

_notes3:_ fixed a whole bunch of formatting screw ups, also put his thoughts in parenthesis. okay. okay. no more. just post this. gosh insecurities, go away, this chapter is DONE. agh.

_notes4:_ right. this is going to get published, RIGHT NOW. you hear me? NOW ok.

_notes5:_ i chickened out. but not this time. i'm posting it for all you lovelies to read. gosh.

erm.** -hey**, if you've actually read this far, leave a review! even if you thought it sucked, just say so, because constructive criticism, or something.

um. i'm going to stop talking to myself and go have a coffee. god knows i need it.


	2. two

two

* * *

Hinata wrinkled her nose as she carefully pushed open the creaky, thin door to the apartment building, letting a sliver of sunlight light up the dusty hallway. She covered her mouth and let out a cough- god, when was the last time anyone had opened this door and let some air in?

Apart from the light now coming in through the open door, the building was dark-dark-dark. Glancing over at the electrical panel on the wall behind a set of cracked stairs, it looked like nobody had paid the electricity for a few days, either. Kakashi had warned her to expect this, though- she took out the card from inside her pocket and slipped it into the meter. Sure enough, the lightbulb hanging from the ceiling buzzed to life.

Dusting off her hands onto her trousers, she fixed the strap of a small grocery bag onto her shoulder and made her way up the creaky staircase. There was only one occupied flat in the entire building, so her destination was relatively easy to find- a door that was as flimsy as the first one, left slightly ajar. She felt the need to knock a few times before growing impatient of the silence and just letting herself in.

"Naruto-kun," she called into an empty hallway. "Hello?"

That's when the stench hit her. It was unmistakable, the dank smell of cheap alcohol. Her sinuses stung and she felt slightly nauseous, but she stubbornly reminded herself that this was nothing compared to the things she had been through before. Even the smell of death and blood so typical to her line of work didn't make her feel this uncomfortable.

(_pull yourself together; aren't you a ninja?)_

She set the bag of groceries down by the door and shut it gently behind her. Spotting a mess of orange on the floor, she picked up Naruto's jacket and carefully hung it up on the coat rack, straightening out any wrinkles. She slipped off her shoes, setting them down, then she picked up his sandals and placed them neatly beside her own.

She took a deep breath and nervously opened the door to the kitchen. "Naruto-kun," she called. There was no answer again. She left the dusty kitchen for a minute and came back with the groceries, replacing the expired ones in the fridge for fresh fruits, vegetables and milk. She ran the tap and found an old rag, then wet it and used it to quickly wipe down the worktops. Pleased with her work, she filled a bin bag with the expired groceries and left them outside the apartment door.

She moved into what must have been the bedroom- empty again. She knew it would be. The bed was unmade and there were beer cans and dirty clothes strewn all over the floor- throwing apart the curtains, she opened a few windows to get rid of the stench. She made the bed and filled her grocery bag with the laundry before bracing herself and opening the door to the living room.

Of course he was there, seated on the floor, wrapped up in a thin blanket while his eyes stared at nothing- a thousand yards away- at everything.

Cans of beer and pots of instant ramen were piled up at the foot of the sofa, where he was sat wrapped in a blanket. His were red and puffy and glassy, made worse by the dark bags underneath them. He hadn't shaved for a while- the amount of stubble on his face only made him look even worse.

Most of all was the smell. Although he had obviously not showered for a while, the body odour didn't bother her- she was a kunoichi; unafraid of a little sweat. It was the horrible, sickly sweet stench of the beer that really scared her. She spotted the can in his hand and felt sick to her stomach. Sickly sickly sickly-

(_you are a ninja_)

Hinata forced a grin onto her face, kneeled down, carefully shaking Naruto by the shoulder. "Naruto-kun," she said. Her voice was quiet and stern. "Naruto-kun. Come on. Put that down," she coaxed.

"Why are you here?"

The words were quiet, raspy and hoarse. When he opened his mouth, the smell of his breath nearly made her pass out. His words cut into her and struck her down; something inside her chest twinged with sadness. Though his tone of voice made it clear, the unspoken words hung heavily in the air. '_leave,'_ his eyes were saying. '_I don't deserve anything'._

"I'm here because I care," she breathed. "Come on, when was the last time you had a bath?" She slipped an arm underneath his shoulder, ready to help him up, but he shook it away.

"I'm not even drunk, Hinata. Fucking Kyuubi won't even let me have _that_." He laughed breathlessly, but it was without any joy. "The bastard takes away my childhood and any chance at a normal life, and he won't even let me forget it."

Hinata bit her lip. "You have a lot to thank him for, Naruto-kun," she said. She was still kneeling, and she clenched her fists, staring at them intently. "Without him, you wouldn't be standing here."

"And that's exactly why I fucking hate him. I wish he'd just let me die already," he breathed. Tears welled up in his eyes. "I have nothing... My childhood, Jiraiya, my friends, my parents, they're all gone. I have nothing left. A bunch of old corpses without even a grave. And I can't end it because this bastard will just heal me up."

"Well, in that case_ I _have a lot to thank him for. I refuse to imagine life without you."

Her voice was soft, but it had a harsh edge to it. Her fists were still clenched, but the white on her knuckles told him that it was no longer just out of nervous habit- she was enraged.

_(her voice was still like birdsong- a hawk, maybe)_

"Come on." her voice sounded amazingly calm, but her eyebrows were furrowed and her eyes were like fire. She was still angry. _(Why do I care?)_

"I'll help you take a bath and I'll make you some breakfast. Does bacon and eggs sound okay?"

He paused _(-no, no food for the failure)_ then nodded lamely and set the beer down on the table. She wasted no time, snatching it away and nearly running off to pour the contents down the sink. She threw the empty can into the bin before returning. Once again she offered her hand to help him up.

This time he accepted it, allowing her to pull him back onto his feet.

* * *

He didn't know just how grubby he'd felt until all of the dirt was down the drain.

He'd kept the towel around his waist for decency's sake, but he allowed Hinata to scrub his front and back before her hands massaged the dirt out of his scalp. She'd left him to wash the rest of his body and gone away to start on his first proper meal in over a week.

Something inside him felt dead. Numb. His emotions were squashed. If this had been any other occasion, he'd worry that Kakashi had so quickly given his house keys away to anyone who asked. He would feel kind of invaded that someone was taking over his flat- even though he hated to clean and do laundry, so that was almost a welcome disturbance. He'd _care_ that a pretty girl was doing all of this for him, and had seen him practically half naked in the shower, _and_ was right now cooking him a (quite frankly) great smelling breakfast.

_(Ero-sennin must be turning in his grave)_

The fact was, he didn't care. He couldn't care. All of the 'care' had been sucked out of him when he'd lost the two people he held dearest in the space of hours.

The fact that he'd personally killed one of them didn't help much either.

His eyes just stared at nothing all day; praying to anyone who'd listen for a second chance, for everything to go back the way it was. He felt tired- so, so tired; his muscles didn't want to move, his eyelids didn't even want to blink. Time seemed to crawl past and his heart felt slow and heavy. This was a type of gut-wrenching, rib crushing sadness that he had never felt before.

A knock on the bathroom door startled him and brought him out of his reverie. "Naruto-kun," a melodic voice called out. "Are you decent?"

Ah, yes. Then there was the matter of the girl who seemed to think the world of him and he didn't really know why.

'Thats not right,' he thought. He _did_ know why. She loved him. She'd said so, right when she threw herself bravely in front of him in the middle of battle, caring about nothing but his safety. She'd nearly died that day, and she said she didn't regret any of her actions. She'd loved him and not expected anything in return. She was smart, pretty, funny and rich, and she'd fallen for the most boisterous, stupid, selfish person in the universe.

_(she'd fallen for a failure)_

His chest ached with a new, raw emotion after being empty for so long. He was angry. Angry at himself for not being able to repay her. Angry at himself for not being strong enough to keep her out of battle. Angry at himself for being so ridiculously dependant. Angry at the fact that he couldn't even begin to repay her for what she'd done for him. Angry because he knew death happened; he knew someday they would leave him, but he still couldn't deal with it... He still-

"Naruto, breakfast is ready. I'm going to open the door just to slip you some clean clothes, okay? I won't look."

_(please save me from my thoughts)_

The door opened slightly and true to her word, only her arm poked in, holding a folded up pair of boxers and a t-shirt. She placed them carefully on the floor before shutting it again. "Don't take too long, the eggs will get cold, okay?" he could hear that the anger had gone from her voice.

He shut the water off and shook his head to dry his hair a little. The empty, tired feeling from before had returned again, but this time his chest felt a little... lighter. The world seemed less dull. He just stood there for a moment while the steam from the shower subsided. He could finally smell his breakfast, reminding him how much he'd missed proper cooked food.

He kneeled down and picked his clothes up off the floor before speaking softly to himself.

"...Bacon and eggs, huh?"

* * *

He sat on a chair in his answer to a dining area- two foldable metal chairs around a flimsy, foldable metal table at the end of the kitchen. His head rested lazily on both his hands as he peered over at Hinata, who manoeuvred the kitchen with graceful ease. She was now whisking an egg- he didn't even know he _owned_ a whisk- and at the same time cooking the bacon in a pan, grilling some mushrooms and tomatoes, and boiling water for coffee. She slid the bacon out of the pan onto a plate and poured the egg mixture in its place, which started setting immediately. She poured the boiling water into two cups she'd set out before, and took out the vegetables from under the grill. Finally plating up the omelette, she placed the finished meal in front of Naruto.

He still watched her as she came to sit down in front of him, two steaming coffees in her hands. She offered him one and he accepted it gratefully.

"You're not gonna eat?"

His sudden outburst seemed to startle her a little, as her eyes widened and she lightly choked on her coffee. His eyes roamed across her, taking in her appearance. She had ditched her ninja uniform for something more practical; a simple dark pair of jeans and a red checkered shirt. Her hair was up in a ponytail for practicality's sake, and on one side her bangs were clipped back. He noticed her eyes looked a little bolder- was she wearing make up?

She shifted awkwardly under his gaze and smiled at him. "Is-is everything okay?"

He didn't answer for a moment, pausing before speaking. "...Yeah." his eyes flickered to something else.

Her smile was a little unsure, but she spoke anyway. "I'm never hungry in the mornings, so don't worry about me. I'll have a big lunch, trust me." she looked at him for a moment, hoping for a reaction on his face- anger, a smile, anything- it just remained blank and emotionless as he met her steady look.

She sighed, realising that she was hoping for too much, too quickly. Returning her attention to her coffee again, she twisted the mug praying for a break in the silence. His cutlery clinked against the plate.

"...This is really good."

He wasn't looking at her any more, instead finally eating the breakfast she'd made. Her eyes lit up again. "R-really? I was really hoping you'd like it. I'm so glad it's okay. I mean, I'm not even that good at cooking and I was just hoping you'd at least eat a little to get your energy back up-"

"It's good," he said. She knew he was interrupting her simply to shut her up, but she didn't let it bother her. She smiled at him reassuringly, sitting there with him as he continued eating. She sat there happily until she spotted his wet hair dripping onto his shoulders.

"Hold on," she said to him, "I'll get something for that." She came back with a blue towel that he'd almost forgotten he owned, and she quietly stood behind him, hesitating before finally drying his hair for him. Her fingers on his skull felt soothing, releasing a tension that he didn't know was there.

"Better?" she whispered, not bothering to wait for an answer before hanging the towel around his shoulders.

"You don't have to do this," he repeated his words from earlier. "I can't keep owing you like this."

She smiled again before pulling out the chair and sitting in front of him once more. "Silly Naruto-kun. You don't owe me anything. I'm doing this because I want to."

"No, you're not. Nobody does things for other people without expecting something in return, it's human fucking nature." Anger welled up inside him again. "Everyone in the world only fucking cares about themselves. Sakura only helped me out because Tsunade would stop teaching her. Baa-chan and Ojii-sama and Kakashi only cared because they felt like they owed something to my dad. Sasuke-teme... He didn't even care at all. There was something in it for everyone."

"What about Iruka-sensei? The man who loves you like a little brother?" she breathed. Her voice was angry in that impatient Hinata way again. "What about all of your friends? What about Jiraiya-sama, or Gaara-sama, or Bee-San? What about me?"

Her eyes cut into him and suddenly he regretted his outburst. "Maybe I am being selfish. I thought I'd come here to see you because I missed you and I knew this would be hard for you. I stayed beside you on that hospital bed because I knew that if I lost you, I'd have nothing left. I haven't visited my sick father for days, but guess what? He understands because he knows he's going to recover but there's a chance that you might not."

She took her coffee mug and stood up, walking into the kitchenette without pushing her chair back in.

"I'm off to do the laundry. I'll be back to cook you dinner, but I think I'll go visit my dad for lunch. Maybe you should find Iruka-sensei and let him know you're okay. She looked over he shoulder, her gaze sending a pang of guilt straight through him. "He's worried sick."

She picked up the bag full of laundry and slipped on her shoes, slamming the door as she left. He winced at the sound- when had shy, gentle Hinata gotten so bold?

Not bold. That was the wrong word. '_When had she stopped taking my nonsense'_ was probably way more like it.

He picked up his plate and dumped it in the empty sink. One hand rested on the counter, while the other went straight to his chin in thought- only now did he realise how long it had been since he last shaved.

He'd been lost for over a week, he realised. He hadn't visited Sakura's parents, or the memorial stone, or even the academy to say hello to Iruka. He hadn't seen Temari about Shikamaru- hell, they were best friends and he'd barely even thought about him. He hadn't even spoken to Gaara once. He was just... lost.

He carried on rubbing the stubble on his chin for a moment, deep in his thoughts. Maybe it wasn't too late to see how Iruka was doing, after all.

* * *

She had arrived back home before him, it seemed, because when he opened the door it smelled of spices and the air was thick and warm. He chucked his jacket onto the floor and slipped off his sandals haphazardly, as he normally did.

What now? He couldn't exactly charge into his room and get changed as he normally did. He couldn't stand here awkwardly either, and sitting in the living room meant walking through the kitchen.

He remembered from once when he had visited Kiba's house, who had entered through the door and announced his arrival to a seemingly empty home. Four shouts of "welcome back" and a few barks had answered him, leaving Naruto confused until he'd asked just what was going on.

"Ta-tadaima," he said after a pause, his voice cracking and unsure.

"Okaeri!" a voice called back- he honestly hadn't expected that. "Get in here, I want you to taste something!" A goofy, lopsided smile made its way onto his face, and his chest felt light again. The feeling was new, but not unwelcome. It was nice to have someone waiting for him to come home, for once.

He shuffled into the kitchen, once again standing there and watching as she whirled around the cooker managing about four things at once. He watched, amused, as she flipped over two steaks of some kind of pink thing- it smelled like salmon. She was heating cream in a smaller pan, adding herbs he didn't know he had as it bubbled away, and in yet another pan she wilted some spinach, stirring as she went. She smiled up at him and took the spoon from the cream sauce, then stuffed it in his mouth before he had a chance to protest.

Naruto went from indignant spluttering to an astonished silence in seconds. Pleased, Hinata took back the spoon and smiled at him.

"Good?"

"Amazing! What is that?"

She just grinned and placed the now-wilted spinach onto a plate, tossing the pink steak on top. She drizzled the cream onto the fish and held a plate out to show him. "It's dinner."

He wasted no time, unfolding the table and chairs while she rinsed off the pans in the sink. Grabbing cutlery on her way, she came to sit down in front of him. He waited until she took the first bite- delicately slicing, on the edge of her fork, daintily biting the food off- before nearly wolfing down the contents of his own plate.

"I never thought the day would come where Naruto-kun enjoyed vegetables," she commented, amused.

"Neither did I," he replied between mouthfuls. "But this is really great. Where did you learn to cook like this?"

"I watched Hitomi-san in the kitchen quite a lot," she answered truthfully. "She told me my mother loved to cook as well, so I guess it's my way of connecting to her."

He looked up. "Thanks, Hina-chan's mum," he said. "This is seriously awesome," he spoke again, this time looking at her.

"Did you go see Iruka-sensei? I kind of promised him you'd drop by."

"I did, yeah. We went out for Ramen together. It was nice."

She smiled genuinely. "I'm glad." Naruto excused himself and walked towards the fridge, pulling out a can of beer and setting it down on the table. "Want some?" he offered.

"Oh, no way. No, no, no."

He looked at her curiously. "I didn't know you didn't drink."

"Oh, I do," she said, holding her nose as he cracked open the can. "It's just that stuff I can't stand. It reminds me of when my father lost my mother, and then my uncle. He always... turns to that," she pointed with her eyebrows at the drink.

"Oh," he said, apologising. "I can always-"  
"No, don't be silly. Enjoy it." her eyes were still crunched up, and she was still pinching her nose. He slid the can into the fridge again and she looked at him, apologetic. "I'll buy you a bottle of sake tomorrow," she said.

The rest of the meal was spent in silence, just the sound of clinking cutlery against china. Naruto noticed that despite her calm nature, Hinata was pretty fidgety- her toes were curling and uncurling under the table, she played around with the food on her plate quite a bit, and she shook her leg every half a minute or so.

Usually, the lack of conversation would leave Naruto uncomfortable and fidgety himself, but there was something about this that made conversation feel unwelcome. Hinata seemed at home in the quiet, and he didn't want to interrupt it just because he felt a bit uneasy-

But he didn't feel uneasy... At all. Actually, Naruto felt more at ease than ever.

* * *

"Hey, do... Do you want to talk about it?"

He looked at her, confused. They were quiet, Hinata washing the dishes and himself finishing off his dinner. Her gaze was level and cool as she looked over her shoulder and she appeared to be studying him. "Well, Sakura-chan's mum met me in the market today and she asked me how you were," she said. The words cut into him like razors. What had brought this up?

"She said that her daughter would have been angry at you for moping. She hopes you're okay."

(_shutupshutupshutup_)

Naruto felt his stomach lurch. He willed Hinata to stop talking, but she carried on.

"Kakashi-sensei also asked me how you felt about putting Sasuke-san's name on the memorial stone. Most of the village is opposed, of course, but... He wants your opinion." her words were quiet yet blunt. Little quiet daggers in his ears.

She eyed him carefully, waiting for a reaction. "Naruto-kun. Being strong doesn't mean bottling up your feelings until you burst. I want to help you through this. Please just talk to me."

"Well how's this for talking?" he yelled, standing up and knocking over a chair as it clattered to the floor behind him. "I've lost so much in so little time, and you think talking will make it all better?"

She walked over and stood opposite him- she had to look up to make up for the height difference- "I think it will help," she answered defiantly.

"Well then. How about the fact that my best friend, my brother, tried to kill me? How about the fact that I killed him because I was too chicken to lose my own life? I was too fucking selfish to die that day, so I murdered him myself!"

"You valued the life of a hero over the life of traitor," she hissed. "That's not selfish. That's selfless. If he hadn't died, how many of us would have been killed in his place?" she looked him in the eye again. "Did you think about that?"

He didn't tear his eyes away from hers. "Do you think he would have stopped at one or two deaths? Spared the women and children? Really, Naruto," she spat, leaving off the honorific for once. "_This isn't a fairy tale_. We're **ninja**." His arms were at his sides, fists clenched- her hands were on her hips- their noses were almost touching but neither wanted to back down and lose.

"Well that won't stop the fucking nightmares,_ will it_!"

He suddenly collapsed to his knees, crashing onto the hard tiled floor. He was weeping openly, now, and she flew down and held him close as he cried into her shoulder. "Every night I see it. I see them all die. Every single ninja who's life I took, all the way back to my first mission in Wave. I see Sakura-chan, screaming at me to save her, but I can never reach her in time. I see you, throwing yourself in front of Pein, dying over and over again."

She rubbed his back and hoisted his arms over her shoulders- not surprisingly, she lifted him up easily. She led him to the sofa and sat him down, throwing the blanket from earlier on top of them both. "Shhh, Naruto," she soothed. "I'm here now. Go to sleep."

They sat there in each other's arms for more than an hour, her rubbing his back to try and calm him down. Eventually he had stopped shivering, and his eyes felt heavy and tired.

"Thank you," he said to her before his breathing evened out and he napped in her arms. She spent the rest of the evening stroking his hair and feeling content before she too fell asleep, both of them in a tangle on the sofa.

* * *

He knew something wasn't right when he woke up to the faint smell of something coconut-y. It wasn't like something was wrong, either- it was refreshing. Plus, he hadn't had a good night's sleep- no nightmares at all- in what felt like forever. And this cushion was so comfy... He figured it was Sunday and he had nothing planned anyway, so he decided on enjoying the moment. He tightened his arms around it, burying his head into the softest spot and breathing in deeply.

Ahh. Where was he?

"Na-Naruto-kun!"

Welp. That was new. He didn't ever remember cushions having the ability to splutter. Reluctantly opening his eyes, he wasn't prepared for what he saw.

Hinata's face was red, and her hair was mussed up from sleep, one cheek slightly swollen- she must've slept on that side, then.

He was still sleepy and tired, and didn't quite understand what was going on. She just looked at him, eyes still wide, with a horrified expression. "Pl-please let me go..."

Grumpy old Morning-Naruto's brain didn't quite register anything properly; it just settled for instructing him to hold on tighter. "Dun wanna," he mumbled. He snuggled his face into her side.

"Naruto-k-kun! This is really inappropriate and if you don't let go I think I'm going to die because my heart feels like it's _pounding out of my ribcage-_"

"No."

It was a groggy murmur this time, she shivered and if it was possible, her eyes widened even more. She struggled even more against him. "W-what? Naruto-kun, please let me go!" her eyes got more terrified and she loosened her right hand, holding it up. "D-Don't make me use this!"

He responded by sleepily holding her even tighter, which made her nearly squeal his ears out. She hit his shoulder with two precise fingers, causing it to go limp and fall lamely on top of her.

Naruto was much more awake now. "What-what-what did you DO!" he sat up, his left arm flopping about.

She was up in a flash, fixing her hair and rubbing the shock out of her eyes. She noticed with a sense of pure horror that her shirt had ridden up halfway at the front, exposing part of her stomach. She pulled it down, nearly collapsing in shame.

"I'm so so so sorry,'' she spluttered. "It'll wear off in an hour, I promise, but oh my god my father is back home and with him I'm a terrible liar and he is going to kill meeeee!" the last part of her sentence dissolved into a mix between a wail and a groan.

She ran into the hallway at breakneck speed, slipping on her shoes as she ran. "Jus-Just go back to sleep!" she cried, fumbling for the key to his flat. "I'll be back to make breakfast in an hour!"

All he heard was the door clicking shut and her frantic footsteps pattering down the stairs. Morning-Naruto had only just now registered the fact that the comfy cushion was actually Hinata, that his arm was going to be useless for a while, and really, _really fucking painful_ for much longer than that.

Sitting up and rubbing the sleepy surprise from his face, he blinked and noticed that the dull ache in his ribcage had come back. He really needed to get that checked.

He ran his usable hand through his hair, sighing deeply.

He just wanted to rest.

* * *

**notes :** wow so the flow in this chapter seems a little juddery but I can't seem to fix that. does anyone else think so? a little bit of fanservice near the end, haha. sue me, it's saturday, i can write whatever.

**notes2:** fixed some formatting junk. also paragraphs. phones don't like paragraphs. I hope that conversation didn't escalate too quickly, as well- i've honestly had conversations like that, but the people I know are crazy, so.

**notes3:** i'm hoping to keep churning the chapters out quickly (chapter 4 is nearly done, i'm expecting the story to be about 10-12 chapters long) but i have coursework this week so maybe not before monday. i hope you guys don't mind! also reviews would be lovely- you know, social validation that this isn't a waste of my wednesday morning. /sob


	3. three

three

* * *

Standing there in the warm shower letting the water fall over his skin, Naruto winced as the feeling started to return in his arm, from the fingertips upwards. He swivelled it at the shoulder to test it out-

"Ow. Ow ow ow."

- and made a mental note to never do that again, ever. The only way to describe it would be like an excruciating case of pins and needles. Bad, bad, bad idea.

As his usable arm lathered his hair with soap, he noted that it felt a lot more soothing when someone else washed it for him. He shook the thought away as he let the water wash the bubbles from his scalp, finally switching off the shower and wrapping a towel around his waist. His stomach growled, but he ignored it, shaking his head quickly to dry off some of the water.

Moving into his bedroom, he threw open the curtains, letting a little light in and glancing over at the empty street before turning to his drawers ready to dig deep looking for a pair of clean boxer shorts. What he found when he opened the middle drawer however, was a neat, folded pile of clean shorts that he was sure he hadn't left there himself.

Frowning in confusion, he opened the first drawer, finding all of his pyjama tops and shorts sorted and folded perfectly. He even found his sleeping cap lying on top. He nearly snatched opened the last drawer, and sure enough his tshirts and trousers were folded just as neatly.

That was something he had been meaning to do for a while, but had never had time to finish. "Hinata really has made herself busy around here," he mumbled, hand rubbing the back of his damp hair in contemplation. He took out his clothes carefully, not wanting to disturb the new-found order inside the dresser. He had just enough time to pull on a shirt and a pair of boxers before Kakashi's summon, Pakkun appeared with only a puff of smoke as warning.

Naruto yelped and fell over in the midst of putting his shorts on as the puff of smoke cleared from his room, and the dog sat there indifferently, it's gaze locked calmly ahead. Naruto got up, cursing as he properly pulled on his shorts, hopping around as he did so. "Sheesh, Pakkun, give a guy a warning," he muttered, rubbing his thigh where he'd fallen over.

He just sniffed a little before speaking, ignoring him completely. "Kakashi wants to see you," he ordered. "Now, if that's alright."

"And what if it isn't?" Naruto challenged.

"He said he'd come and drag you there himself, so if you value your dignity..." the dog allowed the threat to hang.

"Alright, I'm going," Naruto rolled his eyes and slid off his shorts, opting for a pair of trousers instead. "I'm going. Asshole."

"You say anything, runt?"

"Nothing... Jesus. You can go now, you know."

Pakkun nodded once before puffing out again, leaving Naruto coughing in his wake.

"Man, it stinks of dog now... Ugh."

* * *

He arrived at the Hokage's office around half an hour later, much to Kakashi's annoyance. Naruto had clearly strolled his way here, as his face was indifferent and his shoulders were slumped in a clear expression of "_I don't give a crap_". To Kakashi's dismay, the first thing Naruto had done upon arrival was point up at the doorframe and say "So it's still Baa-chan's name and not yours?" The stand-in Hokage's eye twitched.

"'Sup, Shizune," he nodded at the flustered assistant.

Kakashi's eyebrow visibly twitched. "She's supposed to be out in a week, brat. Of course, you'd know that if you visited her..."

"Of course, I would have if she hadn't been in the ICU," he mocked Kakashi's tone of voice. Shizune felt extremely uncomfortable with the tension in the room.

"What do you even want from me, old man?"

"Watch it Naruto-kun," Shizune warned.

Kakashi pulled out a set of keys from his pocket, and leaned back in his chair. He closed his eye and Shizune flinched as he propped his feet up on the table. "Kakashi-sama, I don't think-"

"Listen, brat," he ignored the frustrated woman and she stomped off to the other side of the room to file some paperwork. "I would have given this to you weeks ago, but-"

"I don't want your porn collection you old pervert."

Shizune tried to stay silent as her back shook, but a small snicker escaped her throat. Kakashi's eyebrow was furrowed as he cracked his eye open to glare at her, but she wasn't facing him anymore. "You little bastard," he sighed. "I'm trying to do something nice for you. I shouldn't even be giving this to you... if it weren't for that girl's pestering... I should given this to you weeks ago as well, but I promised her I'd let her clean the place up-"

Kakashi threw the keyring at Naruto, who caught it on one finger with a _clink._

"You're being awfully cryptic. What the hell is this? Shouldn't have given me what? Promised who you'd let who clean up?"

"Just ask Hinata," he sighed. "You can come back and thank me later."

"That girl seems to be at the heart of all the crazy things in my life lately," he noted dryly. "Why'd you give her the keys to my apartment anyway?"

"She asked," Kakashi answered, getting up from his chair with a grunt. He turned Naruto around and pushed him out of the door, ignoring his protests.

"Go on now," he mumbled. "Buh-bye. Off you go. Don't scream too loud when you find out," he slammed the door in his face.

"Find out what? Argh!"

He had to drag himself home, still frustrated and now miserable. He fumbled for the lock to his door, throwing it open before tiredly mumbling "Tadaima," into an empty hallway.

"Okaeri!" a bubbly voice shouted. He was broken out of his slump when a huge luggage bag came tumbling onto him, slamming into his stomach with an "Oof".

"Pack your things," Hinata grinned. "It's adventure time." she pulled him up, the huge grin unwavering. He raised an eyebrow at her, but couldn't help the smile that had crept its way onto his face. "First Kakashi, now you," he shook his head. "What are you people planning?"

She shook her head, shutting the door behind him. "Secret." She took his jacket and hung it up on the coat rack before turning to him sheepishly. "I'm sorry about this morning," she mumbled. "I overreacted. Father understood in the end, but if I'm staying over, it has to be in a separate room."

Her eyes widened suddenly. "Not that I'm inviting myself in! Oh god, you probably don't even want me here. I'll be gone by this evening, I swear, just let me take you to your surprise-"

"I don't mind," he interjected quickly. For a quiet girl, she sure could talk. A lot. "You staying, that is."

She smiled unsurely and a silly-looking blush appeared on her cheeks. He noticed that her nose seemed to go red, as well. "I bet you just want bacon for breakfast everyday," she teased, walking into the kitchen. "I only made instant ramen for lunch today, sorry," she muttered. "We needed to clean out the cupboards. I've already packed your ninja gear. I thought you might want to do the rest."

"What... Everything? My clothes, shoes-"

"Trust me," she sang, tapping one finger on the side of her nose.

Strangely, he did.

* * *

"You're taking me to the Hyuuga mansion?"

Naruto looked around as they walked through what used to be the richest, cleanest part of Konoha. A lot more had been rebuilt while he'd locked himself in his apartment, but the streets were still not paved and only the strongest of buildings still stood. The housing that was built on the outskirts of Konoha- mostly the compounds built by the city's richest families- were all but untouched.

"Nope," she answered. "But close. Where we're going is a little past my house."

She dragged his bag of luggage behind her as he strolled along with a large storage scroll strapped to his back. They walked along the massive white Hyuuga wall. "Past the Hyuuga mansion? I didn't even know anyone lived there."

"Nobody did," she replied. "Or... does. Someone did. A very... Influential family."

She turned the corner into a large forested area behind the Hyuuga wall. The very edge of the village.

"We're here," she said, leaning the luggage bag against a tree. She didn't bother looking behind her but judging by the silence she knew he was confused. Putting her hands together and whispering, "Kai," she watched as the intertwined branches of the trees seemed to unravel before them.

A large metal gate was revealed, behind the vines and leaves that hid it. Pushing the gate open with her shoulder, she let it swing open with a rusty creak. She turned around to see Naruto standing there, gaping like a fish.

"You're not serious, are you?"

"Have you figured it out then?"

"The Namikaze estate," he breathed. "That's what Kakashi meant. And you knowing where it is means you're the one who cleaned it up for me."

"Yeah... I'm sorry. I hope you don't mind." she turned around again. "I've always known about this place, though, so don't blame Kakashi-sensei. There's a hole in the Hyuuga wall, you see, right..." she crept over to the wall again, pulling back the branch of a low tree. "...Here. The one exit I could escape from and nobody would know where I went. It leads right into the Namikaze front garden. It's like... The ultimate Hyuuga blind spot."

Her words might as well have gone unsaid as Naruto was still standing there gaping at the wall. "Is.. Is it mine?"

She paused for a second, feeling almost insulted that he'd ignored her, but when she turned around the look of pure astonishment in his eyes melted her anger instantly. "...Yeah. It's all yours."

She turned back, ready to pick up the luggage bag from against the tree when two large arms wrapped themselves around her waist. She yelped as he buried his face into her tense shoulder, but relaxed when she felt that his eyes were slightly damp. She patted his hands and smiled.

"I spoke to them you know," he mumbled. "My parents. They talked to me. My mum and dad gave up everything for me and I can't even repay them for it. This... This connection to them is more than I could have dreamed of. Thank you."

She carried on patting his hands. "Slow down there," she teased. "Just wait till you get inside."

If the outside was amazing, the inside left Naruto _floored_. The estate was so huge- each window was as tall as him, and the way they let light into the room made it feel as if he were still outside. The living room was the size of his entire flat- he could do cartwheels in the room and there would still be space for an audience. The whole house was painted white, expect for the furniture- blue, black and... _Orange_. He wondered who's influence that was. He flexed his toes against the fluffy cream carpets.

"W-what do you think?" she asked nervously. "Some parts of the house are still dusty and I didn't want to touch the training area or the library-"

"There's a LIBRARY?" his voice was high pitched and squeaky. "Think of all the jutsus he left- the- the Hiraishin! What if he left me the Hiraishin?" Naruto's hands were on both sides of his heads as if he was blocking out any more information from overloading his brain. "Ohhh man, this is... This is..."

Hinata shook her head and left the room, dragging his luggage behind her. "I'll just put this away," she muttered, leaving him to explore his new home.

And explore he did. He eventually found the library- a huge cellar that stretched the expanse of the building, with books on everything his father had ever studied. There were scrolls clearly stolen from other hidden districts- "The Great General of Iwa" did not look like a book written in Konoha- scrolls on techniques both forbidden and inhumane. Books on ninjutsu, genjutsu, tai jutsu scrolls, shinobi theory, war history-

The list went on. And on. Apparently his father was big on organisation; every single book was sorted by both subject and author name.

He walked deeper into the room, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a book on chakra utilisation he'd been meaning to read for a while now-

"Son of a bitch!"

-nearly tripping over a couple of books just left there on the floor. A small, orange, leather-bound journal and a large black book with pages falling out of it. On the front of the orange book was a crudely drawn picture of (was that a person or a monkey?) with long hair, and what looked like... an open palm and "NO BOYZ ALOWED" scrawled messily on the front cover.

The larger book was much more elegantly presented, with "The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi" written in italic gold handwriting. The pages were worn and the book was clearly well-read.

He weighed out both books in his hands, trying to decide which to read first. Smiling at the orange book and tucking the black one under his arm, he turned around and went to find a comfy chair and a reading light.

Hinata cracked her knuckles and shut the drawer swiftly, finally glad that her work was over. She walked slowly over to the nightstand, fingers brushing delicately against the things that Naruto's mother must have left there- there was no dust because Hinata had made sure she cleaned everything until it sparkled. The spotless mirror glinted with the low evening light, reminding her how late it had gotten.

Naruto's mother was not a girly woman, instead she seemed extremely... Practical. She seemed to own the very basics of hair and skincare- two jars of now solidified coconut oil- one labelled "hair", and the other labelled "face". A brush and a box of hairpins.

There was a photo though, in front of the mirror, in a simple white frame. A wedding photo. Kushina stood there with her hair glistening in its intricate up-do and her skin glowing, clutching the arm of a very dapper looking Minato. Her hair was decorated with a beautiful flower pin. She was smiling, but it was nothing compared to the huge grin on Minato's face that looked as if it were about to rip apart his cheeks.

Hinata's attention was drawn to a black box- obviously intended for jewellery, but Kushina had hardly owned any. Instead it was full to the brim with photos, notes and keepsakes. Hinata refused to look through all of them for the sake of privacy, but she couldn't help glancing at what seemed to be a blurry ultrasound picture dated _AUGUST_ _12TH_.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she nearly didn't notice when Naruto barrelled into the room and threw the black leather bound book into the table. She yelped and nearly shut all of her fingers in the box, almost falling off her chair in the process. "Read it," Naruto said, breathless from running up the stairs. "Page 19. The fifth line. Read what it says."

She looked at him, slightly incredulous. She saw his reddened, serious features and decided to trust him.

"_The brave young shinobi did not falter_," she read aloud. "'_He blocked every strike, and fought back with equal force_...'" She looked up at him again. He nodded and motioned at the page. "Go on," he said.

" '..._fought back with equal force but the Missing-Nin would not back down. Naruto_-' wait, Naruto!" he was grinning now. "Yeah. Now read the front cover!"

She flicked the book closed and opened the first page. "_To my Student_," she began. "_this is for you, kiddo. Thanks for the inspiration. And to my grandson, who I can't wait to meet. And to the babe my crazy student has somehow managed to score. Love and luck for the future, Jiraiya_."

She looked up at him astonished. "Yup," Naruto nodded, his grin threatening to seriously harm his cheeks. "I'll bet that character is who I was named after. And that my dad was his crazy student and the so called babe was my mom." He pulled a face at the last bit, causing Hinata to giggle.

"That reminds me," she replied. "Have you seen this?" She motioned towards the wedding picture on the nightstand. Naruto's eyes nearly bulged out of his skull as he walked around her to see it. "I've never had anything to remember my parents by," he laughed. "And now I have a whole fucking mansion full. This is crazy."

"I've put all of your clothes and scrolls away, and it's getting late," she got up and brushed her hands off on her legs. "I'll go get some groceries then I'll be off back home."

"Ah, about that," he muttered. "It's fine... For you to stay, I mean.. We have guest rooms..." his voice trailed off into a mumble.

She laughed. "If it's breakfast you're worried about, I live just around the corner, Naruto-kun."

"Oh yeah," he chuckle nervously. "Breakfast. Sure, I forgot. Well, I wouldn't want to keep you."

"Alright, I'll go do the shopping then," she answered, skipping down the stairs to put on her jacket and shoes. "Any special requests? Other than the basics of course."

"Nothing really," he answered, observing the way she tried not to lose her balance hopping around while attempting to wedge her heel into her shoe with one finger. "Alright then. See you later." she zipped up her jacket and shut the door behind her.

Naruto found the sudden lack of noise in the house unnerving. In the beginning he had been annoyed with the intrusion into his new home, but now it was almost a welcome disturbance. Now he had nothing to take his mind off of certain... things. Memories haunted him around every corner with nobody to distract him by practically talking his ear off.

He walked all the way down the wide staircase, exploring each room again and looking for things he had missed. He found a few things- decade old packet ramen, for one. He wondered who that belonged to. More books lying around the sofa, a long-outdated TV. In the closets there was still some of his parents clothes- Hinata said she had thrown out all of the ones that were moth bitten but Naruto still couldn't bring himself to look at them.

He found it eerie how well the place had kept, and just how... normal it all was. Like how there were still two coffee mugs out by the cooker obviously waiting to be filled. And how there was a book about stargazing by the couch with a bookmark in the middle that someone had started but left unfinished.

It reminded him how real this all was, how real his parents were- they were _people_ with plans and ambitions and habits and careers- and he had taken all that away from them-

_(I wonder if this is how Sasuke felt)_

-That thought made him feel suddenly, physically sick. He didn't want to think about Sasuke. He already saw him around every corner, out of the edges of both his eyes. Sasuke and Sakura and Jiraiya and his mum and his dad and every little girl and little boy and rogue nin and Akatsuki member-

He needed something to take his mind off things. Off the ghosts around the corner. He ran down the stairs to the cellar as if his life depended on it and decided to go look for a book.

Briefly, he wondered if this was how his father felt, too.

She found him two hours later, legs crossed, sitting on the floor, nose practically buried in a book called "The Gang Wars of Suna". He didn't hear her come in, even after she yelled "Tadaima" into a silent house three times. She tapped his shoulder and he jumped, nearly crashing into the bookshelf behind him. He sat up, rubbing his side. "Sheesh, Give a guy a warning," he mumbled.

"Sorry," she replied sympathetically. "I thought you'd hear me coming." she held up a takeaway bag, grinning. "Will ramen make up for it?"

His eyes took on a special sparkle as they stared at the gleaming takeaway bag. "Yes please," he said, cradling it in his hands and taking it away from her, but not before quickly folding the page of his book.

His eyes didn't leave the bag as he followed her up the stairs and into the kitchen. "If it's okay," she called over her shoulder, "I'll be bringing some of my furniture over soon. It's, ah, old and there's um... No space for it in my house."

"Mhmm, ok." he fished around the drawers for a spoon and a pair of chopsticks while she set the groceries down on the counter.

"There's cutlery in the bag," she offered. Pulling out a chair and taking her food out of its package, she sat down.

"Naruto... Do you have much money on you? Only... I have a mission tomorrow. It should only take me a week but you know how these things go..." she trailed off, fiddling nervously with her hair. "Will you be alright? I mean, should I leave you money, or..."

"Come to think of it, I'm surprised Kakashi-Baka hadn't sent you out sooner," he mused.

"Ah, about that... I asked for this mission myself. It's quite important." her tone of voice told him he wasn't getting any further information.

"Don't worry, I still have enough money for at least a month," he replied, food in his mouth. "I'll be ok. Just come back safe."

She smiled at him and set her plate aside. "I'm off, then. I wasn't that hungry anyway."

"Will I see you tomorrow morning?"

Her eyes softened slightly. "No, I'm sorry. I leave at 5 am. But I'll try not to take long."

"...Alright then," he nodded. "I'll see ya."

She smiled and squeezed his hand before leaving him sat alone at the table. He heard the front door click shut and the house was empty seconds later. He could already feel the silence.

He ran a hand through his hair, sighing heavily. Taking one more sip before setting the spoon down, he opened the book back up on the page he left it at and allowed himself to get lost.

* * *

notes1: if this chapter is slightly boring, i'm sorry. i had to get lots out of the way, including naruto inheriting his parent's home. i've always thought that they must have left him _something_, and that it's being kept away for when he's ready, or something- i find it hard to believe the fourth hokage and his influential wife would have _not_ owned anything.

so, yup. just shoving plot out of the way. the good stuff comes soon, i promise.

also- thank you to everyone, i mean everyone who reviewed. i'll be replying tonight because they were all so thoughtful and each one made me go :DD so thanks again for that.


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